5 Important Life Lessons Learned (the hard way)

At the conclusion of this story you will find 5 important life lessons that we learned as we went through a very painful episode in our lives.

It has been some time since our last letter but I needed this time for healing. To sort out what had happened and reflect on how I felt. So today we are reconnecting with you hoping that these lessons will be of benefit to you. You probably know them, or maybe you don’t but here’s the story.

My father died last November after a 5 year battle with prostate cancer. His old school doctor found a tiny spec of cancer and recommended 42 sessions of radiation treatment.  The doctor promised my father that it would be quick and easy with few if any side effects.  My dad wanted to put his cancer ordeal behind him so he could continue on with his very active and healthy life and accepted the doctor’s advice.  It was the mistake of his lifetime.

I am sad to confirm that the horror stories I have heard about radiation are true.  My father didn’t die from cancer but from the devastating consequences of the radiation.  His bladder was destroyed, he couldn’t control his bowel movements, the muscles in his legs were so ravaged he could hardly walk.  To see my father, a veteran of two wars, a real tough guy, a man’s man, who could do pushups into his seventies, who volunteered his time to community organizations, so weak and embarrassed by his incontinence was enough to break my heart.

It is understandable that when you are given a medical diagnosis that scares you to your very core, you panic.
Unfortunately, this is when you need the most clarity to be able to make the right choices.  I have felt angry about losing him.  He had been very healthy, strong and dynamic.  Because of the choices presented to him  (or lack of) by his doctor, he had a horrible and very painful death.  That is why I decided to share my experience with you and hopefully, we can all learn something from my loss.

Lesson No. 1.  “Do your Research”

When life presents you with a life threatening disease, you owe it to yourself, and the people who love you, to investigate what options are available to you.  Whenever possible, talk to several doctors, get different opinions and always believe that you will find the approach that is perfect for you in your present situation.

Most of you know, that Dr. Joseph Mercola’s website ranks number one in the field of health and he talks about a variety of health issues.

Dr. David Williams has made it his mission to ensure that as many people as possible learn the truth about natural healing and wellness.  He is committed to providing health-conscious people the tools and resources needed to support the body’s innate ability to heal itself.

Of course, there are many other resources available.  If you are afraid of using the internet, ask someone to help you. This is not the time to be shy.  Talk to friends who are open minded about healing.

Lesson No. 2. “You Can Use EFT to Help You Remain Calm, Reduce Your Anxiety and

Stress during this Difficult Time”

Maybe, you already know that you can use EFT to regain your balance when life throws traumatic events or serious illnesses at you.  EFT can help you clear the distress and desperation you might have. Ask for help.  You are worth it.

Be gentle with yourself and use EFT to release your deepest fears, panic, terror, despair  and anything else that you might be feeling.  Remember, you need to feel Calm and Balanced to the best of your abilities.  You must have clarity in your mind to make good decisions.  When you are  drowning in a sea of negativity, fear and horror, you are going to have blind spots that you won’t be able to clear by yourself.  Seek help from an experienced EFT practitioner who understands your pain and is compassionate. https://eftmindandbody.com/services/

It is also important to note that EFT is very effective for pain and for diverse physical symptoms and  “EFT often works where nothing else will.”  It is also amazingly good for clearing emotional issues, such as negative emotional experiences during childhood and traumatic experiences suffered as an adult.  EFT is an ART, when used properly, you can heal your mind, body and soul.

Prayer has helped many people to feel hopeful.  Believing that there is a Divine Power in your corner can give you the strength to go on. Give yourself permission to believe in miracles.  Hey,  if you feel that you don’t deserve miracles, you can use EFT to help you change this belief, so you can be open to receiving miracles in your life!

Lesson No. 3.  “Support Your Physical Body”

Love your body, show appreciation for everything your body has done for you.  It has carried you long and far. Enlist the help of a nutritionist, an herbalist or medical doctor who specializes on cancer so that he or she can teach you how to best support your body, (including your immune and digestive system) while you are going through the treatments of your choice.

Once you have accepted a cancer treatment (whatever it might be) stand by it and firmly believe that it can help you.

Again you can  use EFT to release all doubts and fears and negative thoughts about treatments.

If someone comes to you and tells you, that you have made the wrong choice; you can, graciously say,  that you appreciate their concern, but from now on, you will only accept positive support and comments. Thank you very much.

Lesson No. 4.  “Speak Up”

The year before my father’s death, he was hospitalized in a university teaching hospital.  Supposedly a first class institution. What we witnessed at the hospital was shocking to say the least. During the morning a medical team would show up to review my dad’s condition.  The head of the first team walked in early one day, informing us that my dad was doing very well.  He was very optimistic about his condition.  Of course, everyone was relieved and we decided a little later to step out to the cafeteria for a quick lunch.  When we came back, we found my mom crying and my dad saying that it was o.k. he had had a good life.  This is what happened:  the afternoon or second team and their head had come in just minutes after we had stepped out informing my father that this was it.  He was dying and there was nothing further they could do.  She even got him to sign a document refusing anymore antibiotics.  Later, after confronting the doctors, I found out  that they had never conferred with each other and it was soon decided that my father wasn’t dying after all.  What gross incompetence!

If that wasn’t enough, the next day, a hospice worker showed up, refused repeatedly to listen to that a mistake had been made and carried on a conversation with my parents about making plans for a final care facility which he did not need.

When you are the one in the hospital bed, you might be in horrendous pain and haven’t slept well.  Perhaps, you have lost your appetite and this is precisely when critical decisions are to be made.
Chances are, you cannot think straight.  Allow your children, or a good friend to Speak Up and find out what is going on. Allow then to ask questions.  Don’t be afraid of confronting doctors.  It is your life and Your Life is Precious.  You all need to present one front, this is not the time to be divided, support your children when they are doing this, they  only want what is best for you. Feel free to complain about the lack of communication between the different doctors.  You would be surprised that many times, the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.

And very importantly, if you are going to believe someone, believe the doctor who thinks YOU CAN GET BETTER.  Don’t ever allow anybody to rob you of your hope for recovery.  It is your duty to believe in your heart that you can get better.

Lesson No. 5.  “Love”

If needed and if possible, heal your relationship with your parents or brothers and sisters.  If for some reason, you feel that your parents didn’t love you, recognize that they probably suffered lack of love in their childhood and possible traumatic experiences that don’t enable them to show natural affection.  You already know that you can heal your childhood traumas with EFT, so do it now.

Love your own children unconditionally.  Show them with word and actions that they are the most cherished part of your life. Dance with them, hug them.  Talk to them often.  Listen to them, even when it might be inconvenient for you.  Remind them, how proud, you have always been of them.  Because at the end of the day, or at the end of your life, the only thing that matters is how much you were able to love,  and the loving connections you established with those closest to you.

My father died surrounded by love.  His children and grandchildren came from different parts of the country to be with him during the last days of his life.  He was never alone during the night.  His three sons took turns watching him in the evening.  He was never alone during the day either.  My mother and sister were constantly at his side.
His neighbors and many friends came often.  Although, he was drifting in and out of consciousness, he was very aware and comforted by all the love and support he received from family and friends.

It may be worth your time to reflect on this message today.  We would be honored, if you let us know below what would you do, if you knew, you had a short time left here?  Who would you call?  What would you tell them?  Will if be easy for you to hug them, tell them I love you…?  Is there an additional lesson that you have learned from your own life experiences and would like to share it with us all?  We would love to hear it…

Remember that the most important time is Now…so take action Now.


Patrick Howell, Certified EFT Practitioner.   http://www.eftmindandbody.com


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