“Children Need to be Loved, Protected and Respected”

Edith Howell ♦ April 8, 2013 ♦ Leave a comment

People come to me because they need help healing their childhood wounds.  Each person is unique,  and their childhood experiences are unique to them.  But as children,  they all  shared one common need,  “The Need to be Loved , Protected and Respected.”

As to this date, my clients have not been little children, my clients have been adults whose inner child has been  abused and mistreated.

When these children grew up, they  became adults that were emotionally hurting,  some of them  had so many unresolved traumas and negative emotions that contributed  to  their physical pain and diseases.  A few had already tried to commit suicide, as young adults.   Why did they go to the extreme of wanting  to end it all?  They felt that they were never  loved and accepted by their own parents.

As I am writing you these lines, I am remembering what happened yesterday in my very peaceful neighborhood…

Something happened  at my neighbor’s home that broke the peace.  I was doing my work like any other day, but all of a sudden I heard voices, well they were not really voices, they were screams, that soon became out of control, people were yelling harder and harder.

I looked through the window trying to locate the source of all the commotion.  I was confused.

All of a sudden, I saw too young boys running out of my neighbors home, with terrified looks on their faces, tears running down their cheeks.

I went after them, I asked them  what was happening…The little boys said that their aunts were fighting.  I held them trying to comfort them.

The younger one wanted to hold on to me, they were really frightened.  I told them that whatever was happening in that house did not have anything to do with them, that the problem belongs to the adults, not them.  I wanted them to understand that they were not responsible for what was happening. (The adults were).

At that time, a woman came running out, I asked her if she was O.K. she said yes and ran back. I could not talk to her.

Then another woman came running out with a teenage girl and a little girl, both of them were crying too and very frightened.  I told this woman that what was happening was traumatizing the children,and that it could possibly scar them,  the screams were still  so loud and scary.  I offered to help her and the 4 children  with EFT,  but she said that she just wanted to take them out of the situation into her car.  The woman went to get the boys and then her little girl just wanted me to hold her, which I did until her mother came back.

At this point the owner of the house, came to talk to me and I explained to her that what was happening to these children was so damaging and not acceptable.  I told her that because of the work that I do, I know how harmful violence and abusive speech is to young children.  It can scar them for life.  When the abuse is repetitive and the home environment  resembles a war zone;  many of these abused children end up suffering serious diseases like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD or CFS/M.E.  anxiety, terrors, panic attacks, depression,  etc.    She agreed and said that she couldn’t stop it.

I really don’t know if this situation happens often in their homes,  but my neighbor said that the woman who started it all, was raised by a mother that did the same thing to her,  she was raised among violent fights and screams, the woman is just repeating what she learned from her mother.

Maybe this woman is not aware that she can break the cycle of abuse and that she can raise her children in a very different way.

I know for a fact that not all children who were horribly abused by their parents turn out to be bad parents.  Somehow, they consciously decided that they have to be different.  They choose to be loving.   But it is so hard, because the abusive language that they heard when they were children comes running to their mind when they are trying to discipline their own children. It is a battle that they fight against themselves in an effort to be different from the way that they themselves were raised.

I just want you to be aware that EFT is very effective in helping you clear the pain of your own childhood, EFT can help you clear the pain of the abusive words you might have heard when you were young. Once you have healed your past, it will be easier for you to create a peaceful and loving home, so instead of functioning from a place of overwhelm and hurt, now  you will be operating from a place of love, calm  and safety.  Do you see the difference?

These are some basic phrases or messages that as small children you needed to hear

from your parents:

• We love you and accept  you

• We were eagerly waiting for you

• Your needs are important to us

• You are loved just the way you are

• We respect you

• You are not the cause of our problems

• You are my bright star, you are meant to shine

• You are God’s gift to us

• Your needs matter to us

• We are teaching you to take care of your own needs first

• We are teaching you to take care of your body and treat it with respect

• You are the cutest child I have ever seen

• You are a high joy vibration

• You are amazing!

• I love hugging you

• I love reading stories to you

• I love to tuck you in at night

• You are safe, we will always protect you.

• Your best is good enough!

• It is O.K. for you to express what you are feeling, what you want, what you don’t want

• You are UNIQUE, in the whole universe there is only one of you.  I love you

• You are my beautiful baby!

• You are free to be you

• You have the freedom to choose your own path

• You have the power to say NO

• You deserve to be treated with respect

• You are not here to take care of our needs, We are here to take care of you

• You are worth it!

• You are perfect just the way you are!

• You are magnificent!

• You have the right to stay connected to your body and to your feelings

• What you have to say is important to us

• We value you!

• You are capable

• You are brilliant!

• You are worthy of receiving love and consideration!

• We love you, we approve of you, we validate you, we respect you!

• You deserve ” UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”

• We are teaching you “How to Love Yourself Unconditionally”

If you are ready to heal and transform your life with my professional EFT help, click here: https://eftmindandbody.com/services/

On the other hand, many years ago I read the story of a mother cat, please note what her motherly love compelled her to do…

At that time,  (1996)  this cat story move my heart to tears  when I became aware of her motherly love and compassion for her own little kittens… What wouldn’t a LOVING mother do for her kids?

NEW YORK (CNN) — A mother cat who raced into a burning Brooklyn
building and rescued her five kittens is recuperating with her litter at an
animal clinic.
With her eyes blistered shut, her paws burned and her coat singed, the cat —
nicknamed Scarlet for her patches of red fur — darted into the flames and
pulled out her kittens, one by one. Once all the kittens had been rescued,
their mother conducted a head count, touching each kitten with her nose to
make sure they were all there.
Firefighter David Gianelli found the feline family outside the building Friday
and took them to an animal shelter, where the mother and babies are
receiving treatment.
Hundreds of people have offered to adopt the cats.

Why is Everybody So
Surprised That I Saved My
Furry Five?

Why is everyone so surprised
that I saved my furry five;
that in spite of pain and danger
I brought them out alive?
True my eyes were barely open
but I heard their frantic wails;
through smoke and flames I saw
scorched ears and burning tails.
Every trip was a burdened choice
but I could make no other.
The rescuers have called me cat…

but I am also “mother.”Author – Rosemary Asmussen

I would like to clarify that:  this  mother cat was not just a mother…she was a good mother….she was an amazing mother!

My questions for you today are?

• What do you think about  this mother cat?

• Did you experience a childhood similar to the kids of my story?

• What false beliefs about yourself have you accepted as result of your upbringing?

• Were the adults in your childhood experience unable to recognize your magnificence?

• What loving message would you like to have heard from your own parents or the people who raised you?

We would love to read your comments below.

Thank you for reading our article  “Children Need to be loved, Protected and Respected”

Much love, and take care of yourself,

https://eftmindandbody.com/services/

Edith Howell,  EFT Mindandbody Expert, Certified by Gary Craig, The Creator of EFT

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